Day Two

Technically, it’s “3”. Because it’s so late. I didn’t know what to write about because life is so damn crazy right now. I know that I do want to write about how I am proud of myself for getting what I needed to get done today. And that got me through today. A 5:30 AM workout, 3 meetings at work, an entire practice, getting laundry done, cooking a good meal(of course while listening to Taylor Swift and unwinding with a glass -or 3 of wine), getting packed for next week, returning a loaner car and getting my car back- all while going through my own internal struggles. Sometimes the only thing you can do is get through the day. And today I did that.

“I’m baaaaack”

Wow, it’s been a minute. More like 2 years. What a time. What a life. Truly, I have no other words to describe the awkwardness I feel trying to type and formulate a sentence on this platform. Am I alone? Is anyone reading this? Why do I feel like 22 year old me trying to find the perfect caption for my Instagram post? Will I look back on this tomorrow and want to delete every single word? The truth is, I’m here because I gave up social media for lent and I feel as if I have this sick need to be present online. Not for anyone other than myself. I like things documented. I like to remember how I felt in certain moments and like to look back and remember who I was and how I was feeling. I just read a couple of my old blog posts and damn, I felt like I was getting somewhere. I feel like what I was saying actually made sense. To me now, I wonder where that woman went. How am I still so similar to someone that I don’t even recognize. This post is all over the place but it is a start in getting back into putting my feelings into words. I’m not ready to “dive deep,” I’m not comfortable enough to put my life into a blog post just yet. But writing this post out is my first step. And there will be 45 (hopefully more) to follow. I am putting it into words. I will make a post every single day during lent, whether it’s a quote I read that made an impact on my day, a sentence that I feel is important enough to post, or just a photo. I am here. I am ready to be transparent. I am ready to write again. Here’s to lent and making physical and mental changes(because is that internal work ever truly done). Cheers, friends, to the next 45 days. I can’t wait to let you all know (or remind you)who I am, again.