Warning- SPOILERS ARE AHEAD
Well, well, well- it is Wednesday. Post two night Bachelorette finale and post wine night, this blog post is coming to you live from my office where I am sitting in the dark because that hangover was a little rougher than usual this morning. And, yes- I do watch the Bachelorette. It gives me the things I lack in my everyday life- drama, love, men, you get it… But, watching this man do what he did not only to Hannah- but to the other woman, hits close to home.
We ended Hannah B’s season yesterday, and I must say- I’m happy this season is over. Not because I didn’t like someone, I mean obviously, I didn’t like Jed or Luke P. But because I knew how this ended- and it wasn’t on the hillside in Greece.
Of course, we got our fill of drama and everyone loves to watch an emotional confrontation- but I feel for Hannah in the sense that she got jipped. She came into this as excited, full of hope like a high schooler on their first day of school- a fresh start, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for love. What she wound up with was a broken heart and back to square one (or maybe not).
This season, though, Hannah was not the issue. A little too trusting and a bit hopeful, as she should of been, as we all should be going into a new relationship. But also, ready to get pissed and tell those dudes EXACTLY what she was thinking. She was real. She was just like all of us- at one point or another, we all were Hannah.
I know exactly who I was years ago and I know exactly who I dated- men who I gave way too much time, attention, sometimes money, thinking “One day this man will take care of me, one day this man will see everything I did for him and know I’m the only one who will treat him this well.”
Been there, done that.
No, no, no- Hannah was never the issue. It was the shitty dudes she was introduced to.
H I L L S I D E PROPOSAL
So, reluctantly, I sat down with my bottle of wine and my roommate and I watched the shit show unfold. Except yesterday, I couldn’t pretend to love Hannah and Jed’s love even if I tried. I was so furious, watching him get out of the car with HIS FUCKING GUITAR. Not the time or place, man, not even close. Immediately could not take the dude seriously.
*Cue my roommate and I screaming obscenities at the TV*
This is what I’m saying- not even for a second, did I want to be happy for them.
Right after that they cut to Chris Harrison, who basically couldn’t get the words out fast enough and clearly doesn’t care about spoilers anymore, essentially saying: “Don’t worry, America, we are NOT letting Hannah end up with this douche bag.”
A F T E R ~ T H E ~ F I N A L ~ R O S E
The episode quickly turns from the usual Bachelorette finale to an episode of 60 Minutes. We get cute photos of Hannah and Jed, videos of them smiling and being happy together. And then we get Jed coming over to their engagement funeral in a random Airbnb. Unfortunately, as I stated earlier on in the post- this one hit close to home.
As I’m sure it did with every girl who has dealt with a cheating, lying, scum bag who tries to defend the shitty things they did and try to make you feel like everything was misunderstood. Like it was a one-sided relationship completely. I can feel my blood boiling just thinking about this because, I too, have been made to feel this way- like my feelings weren’t valid, like I was crazy, like I had no reason to feel the things that I felt.
I just can’t get behind this behavior- dating someone on and off/ sleeping with someone before you leave to go on the show is one thing, but this- not cool, Jed.
But, in Jed’s defense, he “told her everything”- meaning after he slept with Hannah and let her be happy, he told her a very vague description of his “Not relationship.” Let’s talk about this “non-relationship,” shall we?
- Had sex with this woman consistently
- Had sleepovers
- Met each others families
- She hosted a surprise party for him
- They went on a trip bought by her parents…wait for it..for his birthday
- Said I love you- not once, multiple times
But hey, she wasn’t his girlfriend. Jed “broke up with her” before leaving- emotionally and spiritually. Convenient, eh?
The worst part was watching his piss poor effort to not say sorry- but to try and defend himself. In the end, you could see right through him, he really only cared for himself and his image. Hannah, rightfully so, tells him that she didn’t say yes to the person he truly is. And that’s what’s so god damn wrong with this- he chose to not show his whole self to this person who was giving him everything. And then he has the audacity to ask for more- “grace and patience.” Give me a fucking break.
“This is not what I said yes to.”
I want everyone to remember that line and remember it again when someone tries to make you feel like you owe them something.
N O N – V E R B A L B R E A K – U P S
I also want to take a moment to reflect on the poor girl at home- she doesn’t get to tell her side of the story, she gets what the media will put out there and unfortunately, it sounds like she really did love him. I want you to think about that when you hear a guy talk about his “crazy ex-girlfriend.”
The “spiritual” breakup from the “not relationship”, which involved the sex, meeting each others family, ‘I love you’ and leaving it open ended- happens EVERY DAY in the dating world we live in now. Usually, this shit just isn’t on TV.
The problem with dating in today’s world is we start our conversations on an app, or in direct messages, which already sets the tone as impersonal and casual. And then, were just stuck with it because it’s more simple than to just define a relationship.
And I get it- it’s a way to protect yourself, keep things non-exclusive. I, too, have played the if we aren’t “official” then I don’t owe this person anything and I can’t get hurt.
The sad truth of all this- is that whether or not there is a label, there’s another person involved. And it shouldn’t take being “official” to treat that person like they’re a human being.
❤ T Y L E R C. ❤
Yeah, Chris Harrison, enough of Jed and his fivehead, let’s get the real man of the hour out here: Tyler C. You almost couldn’t help but smile when you watched Tyler and Hannah see each other for the first time. You know the feelings haven’t gone away and even though she is still hurting, maybe there is a silver lining at the end of this tunnel. I really do hope they sit down for that drink.
Regardless, hats off to the best Producers in the business- The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. This show never ceases to give me something to talk/think about and never fails to make me feel “all the feels.” We got the ending we deserved per usual.
D A I L Y R E M I N D E R
Know your worth, people. And have confidence to tell someone when they hurt you or piss you off.
Finding Balance. 